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Slack Technologies conducted a survey a few months back that found 43 percent of middle managers feel burned out. You may be one of them. There were a lot of reasons given, but one of the biggest concerns was being caught between corporate return-to-office policies and the employees who complain that they don’t see the need.

As much as the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics has indicated that there seems to be a considerable shift back to office work since the beginning of 2023, this is not true across all industries. More important, it is not just about whether a company successfully compels employees to return to the office. It is the impact these expectations have on those who can’t understand why they need to commute every day, only to sit in on Zoom meetings they could have attended at home. Of course, it is not that cut-and-dried.

In the middle of all this are managers understandably reluctant to confront their bosses about these expectations and the workers who ask them to explain the reasoning which, in many cases, they can’t. There are other issues besides return-to-office policies that are bedeviling middle managers, but I’d like to address just this one in this article. I’ll cover others in the future. So how can you, perhaps as one of these middle managers, navigate this challenge without getting sideways with your boss or those you lead, and do this without losing your sanity? Here are five suggestions.

First, do a bit of research — It is too early to determine the best way to manage the remote/office relationship; however, there is anecdotal evidence that these decisions are best made at the team or department level. This is for two significant reasons:

1. It is almost impossible to implement a company-wide policy that will not be met with resentment because every employee thinks they have unique circumstances.
2. Making decisions at the team or department level allows for input from those directly affected. When they feel heard, retention goes up and there are fewer complaints because they had a say in the decisions.

Taking a few minutes periodically to search key terms online, such as remote work and hybrid work, will yield some ideas and insights. There is a lot more advice out there, though, than there are real examples of what’s working right now. As a practice, I keep a continual eye out for examples of what various organizations are doing in this regard. Since I have more time to do this than you do, keep an eye on this space for the latest updates. If you have a specific question, let me know. I’d be happy to research it for you.

Second, talk it through with a couple of confidants — It is easy to feel like you’re all alone in dealing with this challenge, but there are many others in the same situation. You might approach a couple of managers you trust and ask how they are handling it. If they don’t have any clear solutions, try a few more. Doing this discreetly is important, however. You might also approach colleagues outside the organization. Asking balanced questions is important, then listen and see what they say. Be careful not to just seek out people who will confirm your perceptions — confirmation bias is alive and well.

Third, rehearse your approach — Planning what you are going to say to both bosses and employees and actually saying it can be two different things. A well-organized explanation or plan along with the right words can make all the difference in persuading those to whom you report and making sure those who report to you know their concerns are being heard. You might begin by saying something like, “I’ve been doing some research on what others are doing, and here’s what seems to be working.”

Fourth, approach each side with an open mind — It is easy to develop preconceived notions about how each group will react on this potentially volatile topic. But rather than going into conversations with these beliefs, work to be genuinely curious about each group’s concerns and proposed solutions. They might be more closely aligned than you think. Your patience and listening skills will probably yield the best ideas. When they suggest solutions, they’re already sold on them; all you have to do is take the credit.

Fifth, be consistent in your communication — Most conversations about this issue arise spontaneously. As a result, how you explain something to one person may differ from how you explain it to another. Over time, these conflicting explanations can be a source of conflict and distrust. Consider bringing everyone together when offering updates and decisions. That way, everyone will have heard the same thing. Do the same when meeting with higher-ups. If they hear a consistent argument, they will be more likely to listen.

If you know of solutions that are working, let me know — I’d like to share them with others. We’re all in this together. Like many challenges in our evolving workplace, all this may seem insurmountable. But following these five practices will help relieve some of the stress and burnout you feel in being today’s middle manager.

MANA welcomes your comments on this article. Write to us at [email protected].